My Daughter is my hero

This is my oldest daughter.  I want to be like her when I grow up.  She is tall, thin, goofy, funny, modest, gorgeous and extremely intelligent.  I have learned so many things from her, and most of them are things about myself. 

Manudo is a voracious reader.  I never thought that I would ever say to a child "Put the book down."  I sometimes find her under her covers with a flashlight reading at night!  Then, she wakes up all cranky the next morning and can't understand why...duh....

The biggest lesson Manudo has taught me is that it is OKAY to be different.  She is her own person, all the time.  She does not bend to convention or peer pressure.  If someone doesn't like her, she really doesn't care.  If someone does something stupid, she isn't afraid to confront them.  Until Manudo, I thought being popular with my peers was really important.  To this day I still get hurt feelings if my friends have a party and don't invite me.  My quirky daughter has taught me that the people who really matter are the ones that want you to be with them...and if they don't then it really isn't worth getting your panties in a wad about because they really don't matter. 

Autoimmune.....Or, Why is my own body trying to kill me????

Sorry Nic, your autoimmune system is shot

I have some serious issues with my autoimmune system.  It is like my body is Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles screaming "Aaaaaauuuuttoooooiiiimmmmmuuunnne" and then my body is the car he describes as destroying.  Here's a clip for those of your born after 1980: Drunk as a Skunk (I highly recommend you watch this movie at least 500 times, preferably with your girl-friends and learn every single word).   I have issues with both my thyroid (Hashimoto's Thyroiditis) and my joints (Rheumatoid Arthritis).  Basically, my life is a series of different "cocktails" of  medications to try and tell my autoimmune system to STFU.  And, unfortunately, these cocktails are not Mai Tais or Martinis.  They have side effects much worse than too many Hurricanes at Pat O'Briens in New Orleans, and don't come with the fun of actually drinking said hurricanes and enjoying the nightlife in the French Quarter.  Instead my nightlife is more filled with the fun of "how many times will have to get up at night to go to the bathroom?"  And, "hmmmmm are those ACTUAL spiders crawling on my skin, or am I just bat shit crazy?"

No, I am not your wife anymore....

My kids' dad is still very much involved in their lives.  We share 50/50 custody, so we interact a lot.  A lot more than I would really like, but in the theme of "keeping the kids first" I always answer his calls and try to help him if he asks.  My Ex likes to think that since we once were married, I should still do lots of favors for him...NO not that kind of favors, step up to the gutter people! ;-). 

For example:  He decided to get Lasik eye surgery.  Not that big of a deal, but then he thought it was appropriate to ask ME to take him to his appointment.  Um....really!?!   I would have had to take one of my few precious vacation days to do this and I have much better things to do with my vacation days.  I did, however, arrange for my uncle to take him.  And, because I still felt guilty for not taking him, I made him a home cooked dinner and delivered it to his house that evening (yeah, I know, I am enabling the behavior).

Not a single day goes by when he doesn't call me at least 10 times to ask me something.  Sometimes they are important, like what exactly is it again that Bubbie is allergic to eating (yeah, you would think after 8 years he'd know what the kid can and can not eat, but I digress).  Other times it is stupid shit.  He literally called me 3 times once to ask directions to Manudo's softball game.  Did I mention that I bought him a GPS one year for Father's day?

Working in a Gender Bending Role.......The Negatives

Last week I focused on the positives of working in a non-traditional career.  Today, I plan on cluing you in to some of the more unpleasant aspects.

1.  No, I am not an expert on ALL things female.  I am sorry, but I do not know why your wife acts the way she does (except perhaps because YOU are a jackhole?) when you complain about why your dinner isn't prepared when you get home.  I have NO idea why she has denied you sex, drives the way she does, asks you the questions she does, or ignores your pleas for her to change.  Please talk to your wife, not me.  Having boobs does not make me an expert on all things female, just sayin'.

2.  The noises.  Working in cubeville with all men leads to overhearing sounds that I give time-outs to for my own son.  Some of the doozies are:  Snorking, the act of sucking snot while clearing your throat resulting in a sound that resembles a Canadian Goose dying.  Farting, no definition required, I am sure.  Burping/belching, this occurs a lot, and loudly, and is usually accompanied by a description of exactly which food led to said expelling of gas and how it tasted "coming back up."  Horking, like snorking, but without the snot sucking....just as gross and usually proceeds the sound of Spitting into the nearest trash can.

3.  The advice.  Just because you happen to have a penis and 10 or more years on me, does not make you the expert on all things dealing with me, my parenting, my marriage, my weight, my diet, my health, how I color my hair, my driving, how I spend my free time, which beverages I like to consume when not working, or what a "smart and pretty lady like you should do next in my career."

Working in a gender bending role....The positives

This will be the first of a two part series.  Because I like to consider myself an optimist,  I am going to start with the positives :).

First a bit of background.  I am a manufacturing engineer and I work in a 2.5M square foot manufacturing facility.  I work for one of the Big 3 American Automotive companies.  Yes, there are other women who work in my plant, but the majority of them do not work in an engineering capacity.  There are many hardworking women working on the production line, a few work in Finance, and then there are a few who work in the Administrative role.  These are all very important jobs within my company, but are more stereotypically "female."  Of the approximately 3,000 people employed at my plant, there are about 8 women in a "technical leadership role." 

1. I ALWAYS look good.  Seriously, if you are a woman who is feeling down on yourself, consider a career change.  I never go at least one day where I am not cat-called, oogled, hit on, or otherwise made to feel like men find me attractive.  Of course, these are the SAME men that wouldn't glance my way in a bar.  When compared to the competition in a plant, I AM the hot one, and frankly if feels good sometimes at my advanced maternal age.

I have Reverse Anorexia........

So, on my Facebook page today a friend posted this ad from the Body Shop that was pulled after Barbie, INC threatened them:

 

It made me realize that even though I most likely look like this ad, or perhaps even worse, in my mind, I look more like this (but brunette):