Thursday, May 24, 2012

Kids say the Darndest Things!

I am sure all kids do this, and I love hearing the stories about how they were coined.  My kids have all made up words that have become part of my family's everyday conversations.  In fact, I have even heard some of my kids friends' parents use some of them on occasion.  Shouldn't my kids get royalties or something?

Here are some of the more stellar words:

1.  Yesternightago - Sometime in the past couple of days.  Manudo coined this when she was about 2 years old.  She would use it to recall some event that had occurred somewhere between 2 - 3 days in the past.  "I took a bath yesternightago, so I must still be clean!"

2.  Mahtato - Some genetic cross between a potato and a tomato.  Princepessa does not like tomatoes, she loves potatoes, but mahtatoes are just okay.  WTF?

3.  Jenky - Something that has a flaw or defect.  "Mom I booted up the computer, but the screen looks jenky."  At this point it was giving us the famed "blue screen of death."

4. Ogrit - Yogurt in a tube, preferably with Shrek on the packaging...lmao.

5.  Aberolli - Like ravioli, but with pesto sauce instead of red sauce.

6. Bombfire - A really BIG bonfire.  Bubbie is always asking us to make a Bombfire in the back yard. 

Of course there are the words that they just plain said wrong growing up too. 

1.  Bubbie called a Truck a Fu*k for about 2 years.

2.  All my kids called spaghetti Pahsghetti.

4.  Bubbie was actually coined by Manudo who instead of calling him her little brother called him her little bubbie and it just stuck!

5.  You don't take a vacation, you go on becation.

6.  Princepessa once told a waitress at a restaurant we stopped at while driving to my parent's house for becation that we were going to see Grammy's Vagina.  We were travelling to Virginia!

What are some of the funny words your kids have made up or mispronounced?  I'd love to see your comments!


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Things overheard by my offspring lately.....

So, as you may be aware, my offspring/demonspawn/trolls/angels/kids (all depending on the day), have had the misfortune to develop my sarcastic sense of humor.  Recently I have overheard them say the following things to each other:

Bubbie to Manudo:  "I am so sorry that it didn't work out with that boy.  I hope you don't become an old lady who cleans houses and has like 90 cats and lives in a creepy house (Manudo is 12, btw)".  After I recovered laughing hysterically, I realized he was referencing the term OLD MAID!  When I asked him why he thought that she would be someone who is old, cleans houses and has a lot of cats, he responded:  "Well she does seem to like cats more than me, and if she treats her boyfriends like she treats me, no one will want her, and she is so much better at cleaning the bathroom than me!"

Bubbie to Princepessa: Hey, did you know you are adopted?
Princepessa:  You are such a liar, I know for a FACT that is not true!
Bubbie:  REALLY? How? 
Princepessa: Mom already has said, 100 times, that if she didn't give birth to me she would have sold me on eBay!
Bubbie: *crickets*

Manudo to Princepessa:  Why are you so annoying?
Princepessa:  Because one day you are going to be grown up and move away, and I am making sure you remember me!
Manudo: Aren't you going to grow up and move away too?
Princepessa: No, why would I?  Mom is here to cook all my meals, drive me everywhere, and clean up all my stuff!

Princepessa to me:  Can I have some bacon?
Me:  Sure, why do you want some now? (It was 1:00 PM)
Princepessa:  Bacon makes all the world's troubles go away!

Me to Bubbie:  Get in here and pick up this mess, NOW! (after the 3rd nicer request)
Bubbie:  Meow!
Me:  Who are you saying "Meow" to? Me?
Bubbie: Because you said it first! (I am now thinking I have stepped into some Laurel and Hardy routine)
Me:  No I didn't!  I said clean up your mess NOW!
Bubbie:  Meow
Me:  What are you doing?  Go clean your room!
Bubbie: Stop saying for me to clean my room "meow" because you know I can't resist meowing back when I hear a cat.
Me: Jesus Christ!  Just go clean your room THIS INSTANT, please.
Bubbie:  My name is NOT Jesus, I thought you would have known that by now, mom.
Me:  You have until the count of 3, 1! 2!
Bubbie:  sounds of muttering accompanied by opening of drawers.

Me to spawn:  What is the matter with you guys?  Do you need written instructions on how to change the toilet paper roll when it is empty?
Manudo:  Only if it has a flow chart and pictures, please. 

What gems have you overheard lately?