Last week I focused on the positives of working in a non-traditional career. Today, I plan on cluing you in to some of the more unpleasant aspects.
1. No, I am not an expert on ALL things female. I am sorry, but I do not know why your wife acts the way she does (except perhaps because YOU are a jackhole?) when you complain about why your dinner isn't prepared when you get home. I have NO idea why she has denied you sex, drives the way she does, asks you the questions she does, or ignores your pleas for her to change. Please talk to your wife, not me. Having boobs does not make me an expert on all things female, just sayin'.
2. The noises. Working in cubeville with all men leads to overhearing sounds that I give time-outs to for my own son. Some of the doozies are: Snorking, the act of sucking snot while clearing your throat resulting in a sound that resembles a Canadian Goose dying. Farting, no definition required, I am sure. Burping/belching, this occurs a lot, and loudly, and is usually accompanied by a description of exactly which food led to said expelling of gas and how it tasted "coming back up." Horking, like snorking, but without the snot sucking....just as gross and usually proceeds the sound of Spitting into the nearest trash can.
3. The advice. Just because you happen to have a penis and 10 or more years on me, does not make you the expert on all things dealing with me, my parenting, my marriage, my weight, my diet, my health, how I color my hair, my driving, how I spend my free time, which beverages I like to consume when not working, or what a "smart and pretty lady like you should do next in my career."
4. The Nicknames. Oh yeah, I have a few. Some of them are mean, some are condescending and pretty much most of them are inappropriate. I have been dubbed the Princess Bitch, Little Lady, Work Wife, Bossy Lady, Aggressive Wench....etc, I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. I would like to say that just because I am in charge, I am not a bitch. I don't hear you bitching about the Men who have similar expectations of you....my having female parts does not detract from the fact that I have a brain and I have earned my spot as a leader. So, STFU and keep it to yourself.
5. Did you know that if there is a woman in a generally all male workgroup it is the unspoken rule that said woman must organize all social events for the group? She must remember all birthdays and arrange for any activities for the birthday? She is also in charge of collecting and purchasing gifts for the group members' wives who have children. I did not realize that a vijayjay came with the unique ability to be the work wife of every person who works in my department! Thanks....especially since when I was the one having the babies, nobody did jack shit. I guess I should have purchased something for myself and then asked for donations and passed around my own card....Jackholes.
6. Guilt. I believe that when you work with all men, mommy guilt tends to be magnified. Most of the men I work with when their kids are ill and unable to go to school their wives take care of them. Well, I am the MOM and my kids want me when they are sick. They also want me to go to their graduations, games and other activities that to me are more important than keeping a chair warm at my office. I am mobile and always available via BlackBerry and laptop. I am actually more productive from home as all my co-workers aren't coming by to ask me about all their wives "womanly issues." However, it never fails that if I take time to do something for my kids, I get a snide comment from a co-worker the next day.
So, there are a few snippets of being a woman working in a Man's world. All in all, I enjoy it, but there are some days I want to just remind them of their manners and put them in time-out!
Until next time,