Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Gary Won't Be Back

Hello Momginerd fans.  First off, I want to say it is good be back in the blogosphere.  I had a looong dry spell of total lack of motivation and interest in writing.  Recently, I have felt motivated again.  Not sure how often I will post here, but figured it was better than writing books on Facebook.  haha!

So, I am an engineer. In this function usage of a laptop is integral to my job.  Daily.  I sometimes have 6-7 Excel spreadsheets, Layout files and PowerPoint documents open at any one time.  For you non-nerdy people, this takes a LOT of RAM and generally needs a decent sized monitor.  My company, although awesome, is stingy with computer updates.  My current laptop is over 3 years old. Which in digital terms makes it align with the Tyrannosaurus Rex or maybe a car with crank windows.
Actual keyboard I use daily
Luckily, I received an email notification that I was (finally) due to trade in my lapasaurus for a brand new shiny Yugo version computer.  I was very excited and followed the instructions; happily picking my engineering mobile workstation from the 3 approved choices allowed.  I received confirmation that said a mobile workstation with UPGRADED RAM would be delivered when I returned from our annual vacation.  Yay me!

Hello Momginerd, I am here to make your dreams come true!
Fast forward to day of the great upgrade.   First off, I was scheduled for 8:00 AM and arranged my calendar accordingly to allow for no access for the 2 hours they allotted.  When I log in, I see that they have moved the appointment to 3:00 PM.  Strike One. 

3:00 rolls around and Gary the IT guy rolls in with a big smile.  I smile back and am dreaming of uber fast processing speeds and a new sleekly designed laptop (shhh!  I am a nerd, we like these things).  Then, I look at what he is holding and it looks like something from my nightmares.  It was a tiny Disney princess tablet looking thing!  Those of you who know me, can imagine my response.  For those newbies, I will give you some highlights.

Me: Um, I think you have the wrong computer.  I need an engineering laptop.
Gary (not his real name): No Momginerd, here is the invoice right here that has your name on it.
Me:  NO, here is the email I received and as you can see it clearly outlines the specs for an ENGINEERING laptop.  I show him my card: Momginerd, ENGINEER EXTRAORDINARE.  
Gary:  Let me talk to my manager.....
Me: Yes, you do that. (strike two)

15 minutes pass.....

Gary: (who has now started to twitch a bit upon approaching me) Momginerd? Umm..I talked to my manager....
Gary: Well, you see, ummm, he said that this is your new laptop.....*blushes profusely
Me: No it isn't.  
Gary:  Well, you know, ummm...I have heard of this happening a lot lately...but ummm this is your laptop (he is backing away only to be trapped by the corner of the cube farm).
Me:  Well Gary, you have just admitted to a flaw in your system.  If a lot of people are saying this is a mistake, then surely you understand my inability to further the problem and enable future victims by not accepting this laptop.  I will keep my lapasaurus until this is figured out. 
Gary:  Let me go talk to my manager........
Me: You do that.... (strike 2.5)

15 minutes pass

Gary (who is now sweating profusely and seems to have lost the ability to speak without stuttering): mmmmooomm gi gi gi gi nerd? Um. he like said you like have to like take it.
Me: No I don't, because if I log in to it even one time it becomes an asset assigned to my name, so I refuse since it is not technically MY laptop but a mistake.  
Gary: ummmmmm.....well, ummm....hmmmm...
Me:  Thank you for your time (not really).  But it is now time for me to leave.  Have a great evening. (strike three, I am outta there)

I then proceeded to pack up my lapasaurus and leave him standing alone in my space.  I thought I smelled a slight odor of urine as I walked by.

Today I logged into my email and found an email.  A scheduling appointment for a 15" ENGINEERING laptop.  I will name her Lola and we will make many happy spreadsheets together.  

Bets are on as to which IT tech will come to deliver it to me.  My bet is it will NOT be Gary.

Happy to be back, please like/share/comment if you enjoyed this!