My top menus that satisfy almost ALL of my offspring

Being a working mom, I struggle with meals.  One of the big rules in my household is we eat dinner, sitting down at the table, with REAL plates every single night....even if I don't want to!  99% of our meals are home cooked, from scratch.  This mostly started due to Bubbie and his pervasive food allergies, and then just became the way we do things at the House of Chaos.  So, without further ado, here are the top meals that are in my rotation that can either be made ahead, made quickly, or put in the crock-pot while I am gone.  We only have 3 rules at our family dinners.



1.  We eat what we get and we don't throw a fit.

      - I am NOT a short order cook.  I make every effort to prepare meals they will all at least tolerate.  I am also fair in NOT putting things on plates if it is something that they have a real aversion against (Manudo: No food touching, Bubbie: No onions, Princepessa: No tomatoes, HH: Triple servings of everything).



This is wrong in so many ways...electronics AND
elbows on the table????



2.  NO electronic devices allowed....not even for Mom and Dad.  There is nothing so important that means we have to eat meals while our noses are buried into cell phones, iPods, DS's, TV, etc.  No one is going to DIE if they miss a text, I promise.

3.  Family meals are a good time to practice our manners so if mom is nice enough to take us OUT to dinner one day, we won't look like we have escaped a barn.

Those are the rules, and for the most part the kids and HH don't complain about them.  It works for us, so we all make the effort to be sure we are home and present (both physically and mentally) for our daily together time.

I will try to link to recipes if I have them.  If there is a meal you'd like the recipe for, add a comment and I will post it there.

1. Homemade Mac -n- Cheese, Smoked Sausage baked in the oven with green onions and mushrooms and Steamed Broccoli with lemon.  I SWEAR my kids would eat all of these daily.  I know that I am very lucky that they like veggies, and I hope that by typing this, I have not jinxed myself.
2. Breakfast for dinner:  Eggs (okay, I WILL make eggs to order...some like them scrambled, some like them over easy), Bacon or Sausage, and a fresh fruit salad.  Sometimes I will mix it up with pancakes or French Toast.  Let's face it, kids of working mom's don't have the luxury of really good breakfasts on most days, so it is always a treat to have their favorites as dinner.
3. Crock-Pot Roast, Mashed Potatoes, steamed Green Beans.  My kids, and especially HH are huge carnivores.  They love meat, even if I don't eat as much as they do.  I like the pot-roast because it usually leaves left-overs for HH and my lunches.  If I am especially organized, I will pre-boil the mashed potatoes the night before to make it a faster meal.
4. New Improved Joe's, Sweet Potato Fries, Sliced Apples.  I had to stop using almost all pre-made canned items when Bubbie was younger, so I came up with this recipe for sloppy joe's using no canned sauces and with spinach for extra nutrients.  My kids LOVE it!  I have also served it over pasta ala Cincinnati Chili.
5. Salmon Patties, Rice, and Asparagus.  I make the asparagus in a pan on the top of the stove with a pat of butter, splash of soy sauce, and 1/4 cup of water.  I have a rice cooker, and have found it so worth the investment.  Rice comes out perfect every.single.time.
6. Broiled whole pork tenderloin (just baste with a mixture of stone ground mustard and maple), Vanilla sweet potatoes, and spinach salad with orange/balsamic dressing. I bake the sweet potatoes the night before, and keep the dressing for the salad in a cruet in the fridge at all times. 
7. Tacos, Refried Beans, Spanish rice....need I say more?
8. Pasta with Basalmic Puttenesca Sauce, Garlic Bread, and a Salad.  When I serve this, I try to keep the olives out of Bubbie's serving :). 
9. Pulled Pork (whole pork tenderloin, favorite BBQ sauce, diced onions, cook in crock pot all day, shred with two forks), Cole Slaw, Baked Beans.
10. Chili, Homemade Corn Bread, Salad.  I mix it up by sometimes doing white chili, beanless chili, or traditional red chili.  I like to really spice it up, but keep some extra spices on hand to sprinkle on HH's and mine when the kidlets are around who seem to be opposed to anything spicier than a hot dog some days.

What are some of your go to meals?   How do you save time?  I hate feeling like I am in a rut, and I feel that way frequently in the winter when we do not have as many options for fresh fruits and veggies.

How My Kids Break the Rules of Logic and Science!

There are some things that defy all reason and scientific principles.  Most of these are things that have to do with my offspring.  Below is a list of things that make me go "WHUCK?" on a daily basis.

1.  Toothpaste and its ability to travel long distances.

Every single muther furking time I go into the kids' bathroom I find dried crusty toothpaste in the most odd places.  Today, I found it on the windowsill, UNDER the blinds, that is approximately 5 ft from the sink and NO WHERE near the towel, which is also covered in a toothpaste/saliva combo.

2.  Socks and where the Hell do they go?

I swear to all that is holy I have a basket of single socks that contains more socks than the actual pairs that end up in my kids drawers.  Where do the socks go?  Is there a black hole in my dryer that ONLY likes kids socks?  Ironically, I rarely have an issue matching pairs of mine or HH's socks.  So, this black hole is not only a mystery, it is selective!

3.  Pee on the seat

Bubbie is great at lifting and putting down the seat.  It is most likely a long term repercussion (which I am sure will require some sort of therapy when he is an adult) of my fastidious toilet training.  Yes, I did encourage him to "blot the tip" while training, and YES he has the cleanest underwear in the house thank.you.very.much to this day!  This pee on the seat is about the girls.  How in the heck do they manage to get dribble on the seat?  Are they hovering in their own bathroom?  Are they doing jumping jacks?  Did I get confused and encourage them to shake it off while I was teaching Bubbie to blot?

4.  Selective Hearing

How come I can whisper something about one of the kids from 3 rooms away and they can hear it, yet when I am right in front of them asking something they can't?  Should I yell my secret thoughts to HH and whisper my requests to the offspring?

5.  Selective Blindness


Actual sign haning in all offspring rooms



This is the first cousin to Selective Hearing.  I find it usually accompanies my request to fetch some object of theirs they are missing.  For example,  Manudo has selective vision for things as large as her lunch box.  I have packed her lunch and remind her to grab it on her way out the door.  She opens the fridge, stares RIGHT at the damn thing and says she can't find it!  I then will give her detailed directions to the area right in front of her face, and she STILL can't see it!  When I point it out, after stomping to the kitchen from the other room where I was importantly updating my FB status, she is all like "Oh....hahahahah....Sorry mom!"  Google revealed this is a REAL illness!  Refrigerator Blindness.  And we all know, if it is on GOOGLE it must be TRUE!

6.  Ackbassward Sleeping times

The unique phenomena of kids waking up at the crack of dawn on non-school days, yet having to be dragged kicking and screaming from their beds on school days.  Why is it that they go to bed at reasonable times on school days and have a harder time getting up than when they are allowed leniency on the weekends?  Perhaps I will do an experiment and let them stay up as late as they want on school days and make them go to bed early on weekends.  It would only be fair, since I happen to enjoy sleeping in on my few days off of work!

These are just a few....I am sure as time goes on and I enter the realm of parenting a teenager more phenomena will manifest!

Until next time!
Nic

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I am not playing Hookie...

Hello Momginerd fans,

I have been  remiss in not updating the blog lately, but I PROMISE I have a good excuse.  I have been dealing with some pretty major heath issues.  I feel comfortable posting now, that we have ruled out any life-threatening issues, but I am still searching for answers.

I have RA, and for a chronicle of that please see: My body is trying to kill me, which details some of the trials and tribulations of living with an autoimmune disease.  About 6 weeks ago my rheumatologist increased one of my medications, and either coincidently or as a side effect, I have developed some "interesting" neurological "disturbances."

Including: numbness on the left side of my face, lack of coordination/vertigo, visual halos/auras/floaties, losing my words when speaking, and numbness in hands and arms (mostly concentrated on the left side).  Through process of elimination we do know 3 things:

1.  I have a BRAIN, and she is gorgeous.  I know because the doctor gave me a CD and I can look at her whenever I want!

2.  I do not have lesions, aneurisms, tumors or other brain related abnormalities that could be causing my issues.

3.  I do have some spinal issues with 4 protruding discs, but again they may explain SOME symptoms, but not all.

What we do not know, but suspect, is that I probably have a combination of issues (yeah, yeah, enter complicated woman comment here) that are causing my problems.  We believe the hand issues are caused by the protruding discs, so I am going to physical therapy.  I most likely have Hemiplegic Migraines which explain the other effects, and some residual side effects from the increase in the RA medication, methotrexate. I have had migraines in the past, but never one that has lingered as long as this one. I basically have been living with some level of a headache since the beginning of September.  Most of the time I can power through and move on, but sometimes they knock my flat on my ass.  NOTHING makes it go completely away, and I can now set up a side business dispensing drugs, if needed, since I have been prescribed everything from Imitrex to Vicodin to try and get these headaches under control. 

   

I used to look human, but I have
had 4000 Xrays in 1 month

I am anxiously awaiting yet another call with results of yet more tests to see where the next step will lead.  Most likely that will be to a neurologist and a pain clinic....which I am sure will end up in yet more tests so that I finally cease to look human and more resemble this a halo of myself, and more drugs to take up space in my overflowing aresenal....

Until then, the good news is my doctors (damn, that is scary to have to put the S after it), agree that I am to take it easy and play hooky, I  mean work from home, as much as possible.  Thankfully, I have an awesome team who understands and really do not NEED me daily to do their jobs!

Thank you all for your patience with me, I promise once all this is sorted out, I will be back full of snark and sarcasm per usual!

Lots and lots of  love,Nic

Rites of Passage or Mothering a Junior High School Daughter (God Help me now!)

I wanted to be a Zombie, but Mom made me pretty instead

Last week, at least in my mind, Manudo looked like this on Halloween.  All that was important was being pretty or scary, getting lots of attention, and KNOWING that Mommy would always be there to take care of her.  She was always a unique child, even from a very young age.  Manudo is one of those kids who doesn't do things on a linear slope, she does them in peaks.  She has always been this way!  She went from not walking or crawling to RUNNING, at 9 months.  She never jibber jabbered, she spoke in sentences, before she was 1.  She is like this in school too.  I will be all worried about a poor grade in a course (I don't know if online grade reporting is a blessing or a curse at this point), only to be surprised and delighted when she aces the final exam.  Yes, this causes me lots of worry and trepidation, because I can't predict any achievements based any sort of a curve for her, she either gets it 100% or doesn't get it at all.  And just because she doesn't get it today, doesn't mean in a day she won't have 100%.  It drives me absolutely bat-assed crazy!

This past week has involved many rites of passage for both of us.  She and her team won 1st place in her cheerleading competition after a very difficult, heart wrenching (for mom, think mean girls), exhausting, thrilling, and "political" 4 months of 5 days per week practice.  She was THRILLED.  Then, she had her first dance at her Junior High School.  In years past, Manudo has always been the child who wants to be something scary and totally  made up for Halloween (above picture notwithstanding, since she was too young to pick then).  She has been scary witches with warts and green skin, zombies, and skeletons......so perhaps my mommy spidey sense should have went off when she said she wanted to go to her dance as a "pretty witch."  But it didn't.  Manudo has never before expressed any interest in boys, attracting boys, or being around boys.  She was still in the OMG, Boys are Gross stage....last week. 

So, being the Cool Mom I am, I proceeded to go out and get her lots of "pretty witch" accouterments.  She had gorgeous glittery false eye-lashes, eye make-up, lipstick, etc....I also spent about 45 minutes styling her almost to her waist hair.  It was a lot of work, and she looked gorgeous.  She kept hopping up and looking in the mirror, was asking all kinds of questions about make-up application, and was very critical if there were any smudges or the like.  She kept asking how I learned to apply makeup, how hard is it to curl hair, and other beauty routine related questions.  It was also the very first time EVER she didn't scream like a howler monkey when I styled her hair....Still, I was clueless. 

She asked me, specifically, to take her to the school for the party/dance.  On the way there, she is asking me all sorts of questions about my first dance experience.  It was quite the challenge to recall 100 years ago when I was in Jr. High, but I dredged up some memories about first dances.  You remember the girls on one side, boys on the other...waiting with bated breath as a very cute Jake Ryan looking boy traversed the 100 miles of gym floor thinking: "Is he coming towards me?  What will I do if he doesn't ask me to dance?  What will I do if he DOES? OMG, he is coming towards me, for real, I hope they play Stairway to Heaven, cuz it is like 8 minutes long" times?

As I shook myself out of my reverie to the past, I noticed she was very fidgety, anxious and nervous.  Being still clueless, I said, "Are you nervous?  Why are you so nervous? Sit still, you will mess up your hair and get glitter all over my car!"  She then proceeded to ask, in a very tiny and timid voice, "Mommy do you think the boys will think I look pretty?"  I was totally speechless and felt this odd prickling feeling behind my eyelids, and right then I was back in junior high with that feeling when the boy did not ask me to dance.  I wanted to turn that glitter covered car around and put my intelligent, beautiful, and for the first time ever self-conscious daughter in some footy pajamas, make her some hot chocolate and read her "Goodnight Moon" for the 1 millionth time.  Instead, I told her that the joy of dances is there are lots of boys there so if one doesn't like her, there is a high chance that another one will for sure.  She then said, "but what if "he" doesn't think I look pretty"....and I almost ran over the cop directing traffic in and out of the school for the kiss and ride line.   I told her that if "he" thinks she looks pretty in school, then "he'd" be blind and dumb to not think she looks pretty right now! And I felt yet more prickling behind my eyelids and realized that I was dropping my (in my mind) 3 year old daughter off to be ogled by nasty pubescent wolves!  As we pulled up to our spot in the line for her to get out, she opened the door, hesitated for a second, then got out.  Before she shut the door, she looked at me, and in her voice still reminiscent of when she really was 3 said, "Thank you and I love you Mommy." 

The prickling became a floodgate and I bawled the whole way home....without my daughter.  But I guess, even at 12 her most important things about Halloween this year were: Looking pretty, getting lots of attention, and knowing that Mommy will always be there to take care of her!

Nic
P.S. She texted me after the dance and said "he" thought she looked awesome.....


I'd love to hear your thoughts on my blog!  Please add your comments and let me know what you think....any ideas on what you'd like to read here?  Let me know!

Things Kids Say

Here is a short compliation of some of the things I have overheard in my house in the past couple of weeks. Obviously, Princepessa is a born comedienne Feel free to laugh, and even better, add your own in the comments section!

Princepessa to Manudo (6 and 12): Mom said for you to put on your bra, Manudo.  She said you will be in PUBLIC and you have to wear a bra.  I am special cuz I don't have to put one on, not.even.in.public!  Manudo:  Well that's becausse you are only 6 and haven't joined the IBT club, you're still a BABY. 
Princepessa:  I am never joining that club, I am going to be a boy when I grow up!

Bubbie to Manudo (Bubbie is 8):  today all the kids were making fun of me in school because I am the shortest kid in class.

Manudo:  You aren't short, you are FUN sized!

Princepessa to HH and me: Why haven't you guys kissed lately?  HH and I proceed to kiss.
Princepessa: "Oh the horror!  my eyes, they are melting!!!"

Bubbie to Princepessa:  You are so annoying, I am going to sell you on eBay when I grow up!

Princepessa:  Well, mom was going to try that but decided not to because she said they'd send me back. 

Manudo to HH: But WHY do I have to learn algebra!  You are an engineer and I heard you say how dumb algebra is and how you never ever use it...you just do Excel formuals! 

HH: *crickets*

Princepessa to the dog:  You are the best dog in the whole world.  I love you so much!  I do wish you were a cat, though.  They are softer and like to purr.

Bubbie to Princepessa:  You SO do not my old room in the basement, you will be scared.  It is very dark and there may be monsters!

Princepessa: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have been sharing a room with a monster named Manudo for 6 whole years!  I love the dark lonely basement, all by myself!

Till next time,

Nic