1. Toothpaste and its ability to travel long distances.
Every single muther furking time I go into the kids' bathroom I find dried crusty toothpaste in the most odd places. Today, I found it on the windowsill, UNDER the blinds, that is approximately 5 ft from the sink and NO WHERE near the towel, which is also covered in a toothpaste/saliva combo.
4. Selective Hearing
How come I can whisper something about one of the kids from 3 rooms away and they can hear it, yet when I am right in front of them asking something they can't? Should I yell my secret thoughts to HH and whisper my requests to the offspring?
5. Selective Blindness
|Actual sign haning in all offspring rooms|
6. Ackbassward Sleeping times
The unique phenomena of kids waking up at the crack of dawn on non-school days, yet having to be dragged kicking and screaming from their beds on school days. Why is it that they go to bed at reasonable times on school days and have a harder time getting up than when they are allowed leniency on the weekends? Perhaps I will do an experiment and let them stay up as late as they want on school days and make them go to bed early on weekends. It would only be fair, since I happen to enjoy sleeping in on my few days off of work!
These are just a few....I am sure as time goes on and I enter the realm of parenting a teenager more phenomena will manifest!
Until next time!
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