I am not playing Hookie...

Hello Momginerd fans,

I have been  remiss in not updating the blog lately, but I PROMISE I have a good excuse.  I have been dealing with some pretty major heath issues.  I feel comfortable posting now, that we have ruled out any life-threatening issues, but I am still searching for answers.

I have RA, and for a chronicle of that please see: My body is trying to kill me, which details some of the trials and tribulations of living with an autoimmune disease.  About 6 weeks ago my rheumatologist increased one of my medications, and either coincidently or as a side effect, I have developed some "interesting" neurological "disturbances."

Including: numbness on the left side of my face, lack of coordination/vertigo, visual halos/auras/floaties, losing my words when speaking, and numbness in hands and arms (mostly concentrated on the left side).  Through process of elimination we do know 3 things:

1.  I have a BRAIN, and she is gorgeous.  I know because the doctor gave me a CD and I can look at her whenever I want!

2.  I do not have lesions, aneurisms, tumors or other brain related abnormalities that could be causing my issues.

3.  I do have some spinal issues with 4 protruding discs, but again they may explain SOME symptoms, but not all.

What we do not know, but suspect, is that I probably have a combination of issues (yeah, yeah, enter complicated woman comment here) that are causing my problems.  We believe the hand issues are caused by the protruding discs, so I am going to physical therapy.  I most likely have Hemiplegic Migraines which explain the other effects, and some residual side effects from the increase in the RA medication, methotrexate. I have had migraines in the past, but never one that has lingered as long as this one. I basically have been living with some level of a headache since the beginning of September.  Most of the time I can power through and move on, but sometimes they knock my flat on my ass.  NOTHING makes it go completely away, and I can now set up a side business dispensing drugs, if needed, since I have been prescribed everything from Imitrex to Vicodin to try and get these headaches under control. 

   

I used to look human, but I have
had 4000 Xrays in 1 month

I am anxiously awaiting yet another call with results of yet more tests to see where the next step will lead.  Most likely that will be to a neurologist and a pain clinic....which I am sure will end up in yet more tests so that I finally cease to look human and more resemble this a halo of myself, and more drugs to take up space in my overflowing aresenal....

Until then, the good news is my doctors (damn, that is scary to have to put the S after it), agree that I am to take it easy and play hooky, I  mean work from home, as much as possible.  Thankfully, I have an awesome team who understands and really do not NEED me daily to do their jobs!

Thank you all for your patience with me, I promise once all this is sorted out, I will be back full of snark and sarcasm per usual!

Lots and lots of  love,Nic

Rites of Passage or Mothering a Junior High School Daughter (God Help me now!)

I wanted to be a Zombie, but Mom made me pretty instead

Last week, at least in my mind, Manudo looked like this on Halloween.  All that was important was being pretty or scary, getting lots of attention, and KNOWING that Mommy would always be there to take care of her.  She was always a unique child, even from a very young age.  Manudo is one of those kids who doesn't do things on a linear slope, she does them in peaks.  She has always been this way!  She went from not walking or crawling to RUNNING, at 9 months.  She never jibber jabbered, she spoke in sentences, before she was 1.  She is like this in school too.  I will be all worried about a poor grade in a course (I don't know if online grade reporting is a blessing or a curse at this point), only to be surprised and delighted when she aces the final exam.  Yes, this causes me lots of worry and trepidation, because I can't predict any achievements based any sort of a curve for her, she either gets it 100% or doesn't get it at all.  And just because she doesn't get it today, doesn't mean in a day she won't have 100%.  It drives me absolutely bat-assed crazy!

This past week has involved many rites of passage for both of us.  She and her team won 1st place in her cheerleading competition after a very difficult, heart wrenching (for mom, think mean girls), exhausting, thrilling, and "political" 4 months of 5 days per week practice.  She was THRILLED.  Then, she had her first dance at her Junior High School.  In years past, Manudo has always been the child who wants to be something scary and totally  made up for Halloween (above picture notwithstanding, since she was too young to pick then).  She has been scary witches with warts and green skin, zombies, and skeletons......so perhaps my mommy spidey sense should have went off when she said she wanted to go to her dance as a "pretty witch."  But it didn't.  Manudo has never before expressed any interest in boys, attracting boys, or being around boys.  She was still in the OMG, Boys are Gross stage....last week. 

So, being the Cool Mom I am, I proceeded to go out and get her lots of "pretty witch" accouterments.  She had gorgeous glittery false eye-lashes, eye make-up, lipstick, etc....I also spent about 45 minutes styling her almost to her waist hair.  It was a lot of work, and she looked gorgeous.  She kept hopping up and looking in the mirror, was asking all kinds of questions about make-up application, and was very critical if there were any smudges or the like.  She kept asking how I learned to apply makeup, how hard is it to curl hair, and other beauty routine related questions.  It was also the very first time EVER she didn't scream like a howler monkey when I styled her hair....Still, I was clueless. 

She asked me, specifically, to take her to the school for the party/dance.  On the way there, she is asking me all sorts of questions about my first dance experience.  It was quite the challenge to recall 100 years ago when I was in Jr. High, but I dredged up some memories about first dances.  You remember the girls on one side, boys on the other...waiting with bated breath as a very cute Jake Ryan looking boy traversed the 100 miles of gym floor thinking: "Is he coming towards me?  What will I do if he doesn't ask me to dance?  What will I do if he DOES? OMG, he is coming towards me, for real, I hope they play Stairway to Heaven, cuz it is like 8 minutes long" times?

As I shook myself out of my reverie to the past, I noticed she was very fidgety, anxious and nervous.  Being still clueless, I said, "Are you nervous?  Why are you so nervous? Sit still, you will mess up your hair and get glitter all over my car!"  She then proceeded to ask, in a very tiny and timid voice, "Mommy do you think the boys will think I look pretty?"  I was totally speechless and felt this odd prickling feeling behind my eyelids, and right then I was back in junior high with that feeling when the boy did not ask me to dance.  I wanted to turn that glitter covered car around and put my intelligent, beautiful, and for the first time ever self-conscious daughter in some footy pajamas, make her some hot chocolate and read her "Goodnight Moon" for the 1 millionth time.  Instead, I told her that the joy of dances is there are lots of boys there so if one doesn't like her, there is a high chance that another one will for sure.  She then said, "but what if "he" doesn't think I look pretty"....and I almost ran over the cop directing traffic in and out of the school for the kiss and ride line.   I told her that if "he" thinks she looks pretty in school, then "he'd" be blind and dumb to not think she looks pretty right now! And I felt yet more prickling behind my eyelids and realized that I was dropping my (in my mind) 3 year old daughter off to be ogled by nasty pubescent wolves!  As we pulled up to our spot in the line for her to get out, she opened the door, hesitated for a second, then got out.  Before she shut the door, she looked at me, and in her voice still reminiscent of when she really was 3 said, "Thank you and I love you Mommy." 

The prickling became a floodgate and I bawled the whole way home....without my daughter.  But I guess, even at 12 her most important things about Halloween this year were: Looking pretty, getting lots of attention, and knowing that Mommy will always be there to take care of her!

Nic
P.S. She texted me after the dance and said "he" thought she looked awesome.....


I'd love to hear your thoughts on my blog!  Please add your comments and let me know what you think....any ideas on what you'd like to read here?  Let me know!

Things Kids Say

Here is a short compliation of some of the things I have overheard in my house in the past couple of weeks. Obviously, Princepessa is a born comedienne Feel free to laugh, and even better, add your own in the comments section!

Princepessa to Manudo (6 and 12): Mom said for you to put on your bra, Manudo.  She said you will be in PUBLIC and you have to wear a bra.  I am special cuz I don't have to put one on, not.even.in.public!  Manudo:  Well that's becausse you are only 6 and haven't joined the IBT club, you're still a BABY. 
Princepessa:  I am never joining that club, I am going to be a boy when I grow up!

Bubbie to Manudo (Bubbie is 8):  today all the kids were making fun of me in school because I am the shortest kid in class.

Manudo:  You aren't short, you are FUN sized!

Princepessa to HH and me: Why haven't you guys kissed lately?  HH and I proceed to kiss.
Princepessa: "Oh the horror!  my eyes, they are melting!!!"

Bubbie to Princepessa:  You are so annoying, I am going to sell you on eBay when I grow up!

Princepessa:  Well, mom was going to try that but decided not to because she said they'd send me back. 

Manudo to HH: But WHY do I have to learn algebra!  You are an engineer and I heard you say how dumb algebra is and how you never ever use it...you just do Excel formuals! 

HH: *crickets*

Princepessa to the dog:  You are the best dog in the whole world.  I love you so much!  I do wish you were a cat, though.  They are softer and like to purr.

Bubbie to Princepessa:  You SO do not my old room in the basement, you will be scared.  It is very dark and there may be monsters!

Princepessa: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have been sharing a room with a monster named Manudo for 6 whole years!  I love the dark lonely basement, all by myself!

Till next time,

Nic

True Story about Bubbie, Football and Bugs



I am small, but I will bite your ankles and bring you DOWN!

The following is a true story about my 8 year old son, Bubbie "the Crusher".  He plays junior league football and also is in cub scouts.  He isn't the greatest (by far) player on the team and is on the developmental squad.  This basically means he plays a grand total of 10 plays per game.  He practices 5 days per week for 2 hours per day.....for a total of 5 minutes playing time per game (the games last about 2.5 hours, you do the math).  Oh, and bubbie is the smallest kid on the team.  He weighs a whopping 50 lbs....the biggest kid weighs 117 lbs.  WHUCK?!?  Imagine Angry Birds....Imagine a 117 pound kid tackling your 50 LB kid....Bubbie is the bird and the ground is the green pig.

The other day it was Bubbie's first day as a Bear Scout.  He woke up that morning and was SO excited.  This kid loves all things outdoors and knows just about every creepy fact one could ever want to, not want to, or even dream about knowing about bugs.....yeah, I know.   Take this factoid, shared during dinner the other night:

"Mom, did you know a cockroach can live nine days without eating. This is also the same amount of time that the body of a cockroach can live after its head has been cut off before it eventually dies from starvation."  Um......I think I am done eating now.  Thank you Bubbie for introducing a new diet trend: Gross mom out so she can't eat.  I am sure it will be all the rage.

So, cub scouts is a natural fit for him and something he has really been looking forward to doing this year.  It just so happens that football also has practice on the same day....of course football has practice everyday, so it pretty much puts our lives in chaos for 4 months (Princepessa and Manudo are cheerleaders for the same league as well).  Being the momginerd I am, I have read the rules and regulations for the league very thoroughly.  These rules specifically state that a football player can miss up to 1 unexcused practice per week and not be punished by the coach or miss any game playing time (hahahah, if 5 whole minutes counts as playing time).  Bubbie's coach is a bit........well.....let's just say he is really in to coaching this team.  Like when the kids (these are 8 and 9 year old BOYS) lost a game, he practiced them so hard over half of them were crying and/or puking the next day....nice.  Anyway, the much anticipated day of cub scouts arrived and Bubbie proudly wore his den shirt to school and drove us all nuts asking questions about what we thought he'd learn that day.  This is every mom's dream!  To have a kid actually excited about learning!  Am I right?

That evening when I picked him up from the den meeting he was engrossed into reading his new book and was bursting with information and excitement about all the activities he'd be doing with his den and pack.  It was also raining, torrentially.  I gave him the choice, we can hurry home and change for football, or he could go home do his homework and we'd start working on one of his badge activities.  To be fair, he does like football and hardly ever complains about going to practice.  He was nervous about how Coach would react to his missing a practice.  In my head I was thinking, "What is he going to do, make you play MORE as punishment?"  When we walked to the car and needed bath towels to dry off he (smartly, in my opinion) decided to stay home where it was warm, dry, and not doing pushups in to the mud (okay, you caught me, I only make him do that when he really pisses me off). 

The next day at practice the following conversation occurred between Bubbie and Coach:

Coach:  Why weren't you at practice yesterday?
Bubbie:  I had cub scouts.
Coach:  CUB SCOUTS!!!! What is more important around here, boy, Cub Scouts or FOOTBALL!
Bubbie:  Cub Scouts, I actually get to participate in cub scouts.
Coach:  *Crickets*

I never in my life wanted so badly to run up and give my kid a huge hug and a kiss in front of everyone. I did spare him the embarassment, but he got an extra big piece of homemade pie that night for dessert...just because.

Now before the flames start, I will say football has been a great experience for the Bubster.  He may be small, but he has learned the value of effort over size, teamwork, tenacity, and  keeping your head down so it doesn't get ripped off.

Until next time,
Nic

P.S.  Did you know you can follow me on twitter?  Look to the right and click on the twitter icon! I also have a momginerd facebook page find it here: Momginerd Facebook Page!

Welcome to the Geekside

Steve Jobs via Apple's Ad campaign said it best:

To all you non-conformists, wierdos, nerds, geeks, techno-dweebs, oddballs, freaks, and crazies, I love you...keep up the good work because you are the ones who will one day change the world.  When you look back through history at the "change makers" who do you think of?  I think of people who did not just sit down and shut up, they stood up and SCREAMED their outrage.  They didn't listen to the nay-sayers that said "it couldn't be done."  They proved them wrong in the face of all adversity...even when they may have thought deep down in their hearts that perhaps they couldn't, they did not quit.

I invite all of you to be a geek, an oddball, a freak or a nerd.  Come on over, the conversation is always stimulating and some of us are even a slight bit funny!

Nic

P.S.  We usually have cool gadgets and good advice on how to fix your computer, program your remote, and knowledge of other esoteric things you may be curious about!