They Call Me Mama Bear

Kids and sports is always a hot topic.  Especially when it is YOUR kid playing a sport, and you (the parent) feel your kid has been wronged.  Let me preface this rant by setting the facts:

1. My kid is small...like 25% for height and less than that for weight small.
2. He plays tackle football, some of the kids are DOUBLE his weight or more.
3. I do NOT want him to play, he is the one who is insistent and always ready and anxious to go to practice.
4. He has not missed a single practice and is there giving his best 10 or more hours per week.
5. He is no where near being the best on the team, nor is he the worst.  But even if he was the worst, he still loves to play and deserves a fair chance.
6. I have never, nor would I ever, even dream of telling a coach how to teach the game of Football to his team.  I know NOTHING about it other than the fact that the helmet and pads are pains in the ass to get on and off.

Olympic runner  Oscar Pistorius 

Now, I DO know some things about motivation from my past as a children's counselor and my present as a team leader at work.  Here are some of the truths that I believe, as a leader and as a parent, that are a MUST to be a successful role model/leader/coach.

1. When kids are young, they respond to positive reinforcement.  Ignoring or exclusion is NOT the way to get them to do their best for you.
2. At 12 years old and younger it is MOST important to teach kids the fundamentals of the game, the value of team work, and to do so in a way that raises their confidence levels and allows them to have some fun.
3. Winning is NOT everything.  At young ages it really is more about HOW you play the game.
4. Not everyone deserves a trophy, but everyone deserves an equal and fair chance at earning one.
5. 99.999% of the kids on pee-wee leagues will never ever be good enough to get college scholarships for sports, much less play in the pros.  However, the confidence and lessons they learn from being valued as a team member MAY help them to become future leaders and successful in their careers.
6. Focusing on a perceived negative feature of a person will not help them to overcome their fears.  If a kid has determination and desire, they have the ability to overlook their short-comings and work through them.  Do you think Oscar Pistorius' coaches focused on the fact he was a paraplegic, or do you think they focused on ways to help him be the best in spite of his limitations?
7. Singling out a child in a negative way will ALWAYS backfire on you, especially when the child did NOTHING wrong.  It is noticed not only by the child being singled out, but by every other kid on the team.
8. Breaking or bending the rules to fit your needs as a leader will always be noted and unfavorably received by your team.  What is good for YOU and YOUR child, better be just as good or better for the rest of team or you will suffer great criticism.
9. If you do make decisions that will make a child upset, have the courtesy to explain the reasoning behind your decisions.  Kids are smart and they know when they are being discounted or underestimated or disrespected.
10. If a parent comes up to you with a concern, DO NOT LIE to them.  Trust me, they have been watching and for every one concern they bring to your attention, they have held back 100 for fear of retaliation on their child.
11. Parents of other kids do respect and have gratitude for what you do....even more if you do it in a fair and equitable manner.

Rant over.....for now!

Nic

If you want to read more about my adventures in team sports, check out this blast from the past: True story about Bubbie, Football and Bugs

True Story about Bubbie, Football and Bugs



I am small, but I will bite your ankles and bring you DOWN!

The following is a true story about my 8 year old son, Bubbie "the Crusher".  He plays junior league football and also is in cub scouts.  He isn't the greatest (by far) player on the team and is on the developmental squad.  This basically means he plays a grand total of 10 plays per game.  He practices 5 days per week for 2 hours per day.....for a total of 5 minutes playing time per game (the games last about 2.5 hours, you do the math).  Oh, and bubbie is the smallest kid on the team.  He weighs a whopping 50 lbs....the biggest kid weighs 117 lbs.  WHUCK?!?  Imagine Angry Birds....Imagine a 117 pound kid tackling your 50 LB kid....Bubbie is the bird and the ground is the green pig.

The other day it was Bubbie's first day as a Bear Scout.  He woke up that morning and was SO excited.  This kid loves all things outdoors and knows just about every creepy fact one could ever want to, not want to, or even dream about knowing about bugs.....yeah, I know.   Take this factoid, shared during dinner the other night:

"Mom, did you know a cockroach can live nine days without eating. This is also the same amount of time that the body of a cockroach can live after its head has been cut off before it eventually dies from starvation."  Um......I think I am done eating now.  Thank you Bubbie for introducing a new diet trend: Gross mom out so she can't eat.  I am sure it will be all the rage.

So, cub scouts is a natural fit for him and something he has really been looking forward to doing this year.  It just so happens that football also has practice on the same day....of course football has practice everyday, so it pretty much puts our lives in chaos for 4 months (Princepessa and Manudo are cheerleaders for the same league as well).  Being the momginerd I am, I have read the rules and regulations for the league very thoroughly.  These rules specifically state that a football player can miss up to 1 unexcused practice per week and not be punished by the coach or miss any game playing time (hahahah, if 5 whole minutes counts as playing time).  Bubbie's coach is a bit........well.....let's just say he is really in to coaching this team.  Like when the kids (these are 8 and 9 year old BOYS) lost a game, he practiced them so hard over half of them were crying and/or puking the next day....nice.  Anyway, the much anticipated day of cub scouts arrived and Bubbie proudly wore his den shirt to school and drove us all nuts asking questions about what we thought he'd learn that day.  This is every mom's dream!  To have a kid actually excited about learning!  Am I right?

That evening when I picked him up from the den meeting he was engrossed into reading his new book and was bursting with information and excitement about all the activities he'd be doing with his den and pack.  It was also raining, torrentially.  I gave him the choice, we can hurry home and change for football, or he could go home do his homework and we'd start working on one of his badge activities.  To be fair, he does like football and hardly ever complains about going to practice.  He was nervous about how Coach would react to his missing a practice.  In my head I was thinking, "What is he going to do, make you play MORE as punishment?"  When we walked to the car and needed bath towels to dry off he (smartly, in my opinion) decided to stay home where it was warm, dry, and not doing pushups in to the mud (okay, you caught me, I only make him do that when he really pisses me off). 

The next day at practice the following conversation occurred between Bubbie and Coach:

Coach:  Why weren't you at practice yesterday?
Bubbie:  I had cub scouts.
Coach:  CUB SCOUTS!!!! What is more important around here, boy, Cub Scouts or FOOTBALL!
Bubbie:  Cub Scouts, I actually get to participate in cub scouts.
Coach:  *Crickets*

I never in my life wanted so badly to run up and give my kid a huge hug and a kiss in front of everyone. I did spare him the embarassment, but he got an extra big piece of homemade pie that night for dessert...just because.

Now before the flames start, I will say football has been a great experience for the Bubster.  He may be small, but he has learned the value of effort over size, teamwork, tenacity, and  keeping your head down so it doesn't get ripped off.

Until next time,
Nic

P.S.  Did you know you can follow me on twitter?  Look to the right and click on the twitter icon! I also have a momginerd facebook page find it here: Momginerd Facebook Page!